The Week in Review

[davidschroth]

At last night's MnStf meeting, I (and the other MnStfers there who have Live Journals) were chided over our failure to post frequently enough. Duty calls, apparently.
Tuesday night, I opted to play volleyball (which I enjoy immensely) rather than prepare for the Thai Two On by running (which I enjoy not immensely). Spent two hour splaying pick-up volleyball, the level of play was reasonable. I ended up spraining my low back reaching for a ball I had no business reaching for. Spent the night in a noticeable amount of pain (I could find a position to sleep in that did not hurt, which worked until I actually fell asleep and rolled over or moved - at which point the pain woke me up, and I readjusted to a new position).
Fortunately, my regular body work appointment was scheduled for Wednesday night. I've been going to Martin Bulgerin for Ortho-Bionomy sessions regularly ever since he was laid off from Unisys and decided to try to make his living doing this form of massage therapy (instead of being a computer programmer). I went to my first session as a show of support for Martin. The explanation of the rationale for Ortho-Bionomy struck me as shaky (indeed, I still think the rationale is shaky). But I couldn't argue with the results. I usually feel better physically after a session. I'm sure the sessions have had a lot to do with my ankle remaining as functional as it is (given the damage I've inflicted over the years). And during a session, I seem to enter an altered state of consciousness, similar to, but different from, the way I feel during guided relaxation at the end of yoga class. I suspect that, to an outside observer, I would appear to be asleep. But internally, I'm not asleep, but I'm not the same as I am when I'm awake. I'm probably not doing a very good job explaining. Anyway, I had my session, Martin spent some extra time working on my back, and it was still sore and still spasming after the session was over. But it was easier to sleep on Wednesday night. And my back was no longer sore and I didn't have any more spasms when I got up on Thursday.
What I did have was a requirement to be to work by 1030 for my department's weekly code inspection meeting. It's usually a good idea to show up on time when one has 1500 lines of assembler code scheduled for inspection. So I left in what I thought was plenty of time. And too late remembered that the seasons had changed, and we were now in Road Construction. I live in Eagan (between the Lexington Athletic Fields and Goat Hill Park), and I work in Roseville. My daily commute usually involves making my way to I35E, driving north on I35E to the Randolph Ave exit, making my way via Randolph/Lexington/Jefferson to Ayd Mill Road, taking Ayd Mill to Selby to Snelling to I94 west, and from there getting on hiway 280 north until I exit on Terminal Road and make the remaining short drive to the Unisys buildings. This year, MN DOT has decided to start rebuilding the bridge that takes I35E across the Mississippi River. I was reminded of this fact when I reached the parking lot at the I35E/highway 110 interchange. Ok, I think, I'll improvise - I'll exit on 110, get over to highway 55 and the Mendota Bridge, and take the surface streets through St. Paul. Piece of cake. After making a wrong turn on 110 and hitting every red light it was possible to hit in St. Paul, the cake ended up on my face. What the heck - I was only fifteen minutes late to my own code inspection.
After the code inspection, I ran out to Dreamhaven to see if I would be able to use the copy printer on Saturday to run off MnStf flyer. I stumbled through the rest of the day, and then ran for an hour at the health club. Not as much preparation as I would like, but it's going to have to do.
Friday mostly involved putting the finishing touches on the next chunk of code I'll be tossing into the system, and sort of not facing the reality that I'm about to move from my present double-wide cube into a much smaller office. I have too much "stuff" for the cube already, and the office has about one-third or one-fourth of the area of my cube. But the person currently in the office was told that they have to be out by Tuesday, so that new furniture can be installed, which means I'm faced with the very immediate prospect of jamming way too much stuff into way too little space. I threw away a bunch of stuff, and made no visible dent in the clutter.
Went to dinner at Sidney's and had some pasta dish, and then went to bed early (2200).
So I could get up at 0600, and get ready for the 5K run. Left the house at 0700, realized it was colder than I thought, and left the house a second time (with jacket on) at 0710. Got XL mocha at Caribou Coffee, and made it to the parking lot across the street from Sawatdee around 0745. Got my bib and shirt, sat around in the car reading the paper until 0840, then got out and stretched. The race started pretty much on time at 0900. It was a little too cold for my taste, and there did not appear to be as many runners as in years past. I didn't really warm up until some time after I got on the Mississippi Mile, and didn't run particularly fast. Since I did not end up requiring the attention of an EMT, I considered the experience a success.
Went to the health club after and sat in the sauna and the Jacuzzi. Then home, grab a bill and take it to the post office, pull stuff together for printing flyers/going to the MnStf meeting, eat a couple of sandwiches, and head on out.
Made it to Dreamhaven and started printing the flyers. The first attempt was reasonably successful if one didn't mind the fact that much of the printing could not be distinguished from the background. Sigh. Fiddle with the settings, cut a new master, run off a few more proof copies. I ended up with something that would suffice, and converted most of a ream of paper into flyers for Baycon and Wiscon.
And then on to the MnStf meeting, where I had a really good time, and tried a food combination that I normally only would try if I were extremely inebriated. I wasn't inebriated, and the combination turned out to be (in Geri Sullivan's unforgettable phrase) "...frighteningly ok".

Comments

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

I suspect older therpists are more effective with couples because of their less modern views on marriage which actually make more sense in a lot of ways, not all mind you.

Perhaps you could elaborate on this statement...

While I'm sure that finding the right therapist is important, the contrarian in me suggests that finding the right patient is probably just as important.

And I get the willies just thinking about the Retrouvaille type organizations.

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

This is only my opinion mind you. But from my own experience having worked with two seperate marriage counselors. The first one who was well into his 60's seemed to have more tradional beliefs about how a marriage should function in relation to comprimise, sacrafice and ways in which couples bring there lives together. The kind of advice he offered and exercises he made us do actually did some good.
He didn't agree with more modern relationship arrangements such as when Isaac and I seperated all of our money. Which is more common for couples to have their money completely seperate. I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the how the money should be delt with.

But I could see his point in the more metophorical sense of how this approach to relationships as a whole keeps couples moving in different directions instead of similar ones. The increaaing autonomy people desire for whatever reason so as to avoid being financially trapped for most women does not build strong, trusting relationships.
And in the end it did not solve the money issue for our relationship. He still believed that paint was asthetic and was unwilling to pay for it. I'm not saying this would be true for everyone but I certainly saw a lot of his points. It may be more true for traditional relationships. Our second counselor on the other hand was more modern in his own beliefs and his approach reflected it, it certainly encouraged the seperate approch of doing what's best for the individual not the marriage.

Most therapists would agree there is no such thing as the wrong patient.

Retrou what organizations?

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

Well, you've been to as many marriage counselors as I have, and more recently, so I'd have to say your opinion is as good or better than mine.
Other than money handling, I guess I'd say I have no argument with the first counselor's advice. I've done the money thing both ways. My opinion is that, as a practical matter, having each partner having prime responsibility for a different joint account works best for me. Otherwise, you can just get extra "discussions" about who did or did not remember to update the register, etc.

I'm not sure I agree with this statement The increaaing autonomy people desire for whatever reason so as to avoid being financially trapped for most women does not build strong, trusting relationships - I see how this could be the case, but I also see how the right approach could strengthen a relationship.

The second therapist seems to be a little too far in the other direction - although I can see ways where strengthening an individual's skills and/or self-esteem could strengthen a relationship. I see how it could do otherwise, as well.

"Look! There's the Winged Victory of Samothrace!!".
I'm not sure a patient can game a therapist all of the time, or even much of the time, but I suspect it happens some of the time. I further suspect that fannish types are rather more susceptible to succumbing to the temptation of occasionally gaming a therapist.

Retrouvaille is the Catholic flavor of the couples workshops you were referring to. The one co-worker that I really don't get along well with is heavily involved in the organization, which probably explains most of my antipathy to the organizati

[mizzlaurajean.livejournal.com]

I suppose it helps to have an in either by knowing someone who has found a good thereapist they are no longer in need of or by having family and friends in the field. I forget that I have that connection making it a little easier. Although the one I saw at the U was really mostly chance. I suspect there are more of them that would relate to fans then one might imagine. It is however unlikely to find them working for capital health care agents such as Health Partners, which I presume insure a heafty portion of us. Oh ya and then there is being a psyh major which gives me another connection and a good understanding of my own problems. Now if only somehow I could treat myself.:)